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Have you ever shared living with a joint family or went to your grandparents home on vacation? If you have then you are privileged! But the last few decades have been challenging because of the disparity amongst the family leading to breakdown of the family tree. Let’s find out what are the things which make the works out of it?
Relationship with joint and nuclear family
While residing with a joint family, you will always feel an intense connection of care! It will make you feel like there is a roof above your head. The family elders protect you and guide you, showing you the path. The road which could not be misled because of the shared experience. But the so-called ‘ new modern era’ has transformed the whole system, creating a jerk shifting from Joint to nuclear family.
The tie- up Knot, a never ending cycle
Individuals who are coming out from towns or cities often with big ambition fall in love. The first love happened with the city and the second one ‘love at first sight’. They acquire education, find a place to live and a partner with whom they can share their emotions. Here they took the divergent route. Thinking to start residing in that city living in their home! A home where they have spent childhood, youth and so many emotions, they leave all this in a quick decision hence breaking the chain of joint family.
How does the shift take place?
The newly wed bride who also belongs to joint family finds it comfortable to engage and adapt with the new family of the groom because she finds the comfort from staying with family but on the other hand a girl from nuclear family will find it difficult to adjust in the new joint family. The family responsibility will soon start to appear a burden to her. She will seek independence and hence will be forced to stay away along with husband in different places. And soon independence will start to feel like isolation and that isolation further brings loneliness.
The filmy family
Most of you have been through movies like Bhagban or hum aapke hain kaun? The typical iconic movies represent the unity, happiness and love in the joint family. Bhagban is one of the movies which beautifully highlighted the transition from living together to being separated as soon as the family got expanded. And the pain the parents feel is unmatchable. All they wants is to get back their children and live everafter.While, on the other hand if we move ahead with time we can take the example of movies like Bhoothnath where the depiction of the nuclear family at the same time contrasting it with the joint one has been wonderfully illustrated. It reflects how the main character of the movie Sharukh khan and Juhi Chawla moves away to the new place with their son in the condo where a happy family used to live. The shift in the movie is truly commendable showing how the new generation as well as the old one needs each other's care and love.
The hard hitting nostalgia
The one common thing faced by the sufferers is the sense of nostalgia. The emotion of holding the memories back in your mind is what made you go back to the place. The shift needs time to settle. Illustrating this with the example of how you used to celebrate your birthday party earlier? Or what you used to do when the power got cut? You played games with your cousin, or listened to stories from grandparents or scaring each other with ghost stories, while your mother and aunties gossip about daily life, father or uncle trying to resolve the electric issue! Felt that nostalgia right? But what cuts the separation is the connectivity. Now Contrast it with staying only with your parents in the same situation. Power cut but the generator resolves the problem. You can not go back to the time which you have left behind. All you can do is to feel nostalgia.
Ways to bridge the gap.
While sometimes it is important and becomes necessary to go away from family breaking the cycle and starting family from scratch for some reason, it is equally essential to fix the broken bridge between the nuclear and joint family. Following are the measures one need to follow to do so-
Regular communication- We all must have heard, communication can fix a lot of things. All you need to do is take your time out for monthly or half- yearly meet and greet. Side by side try to stay connected with them virtually. It will make both sides feel connected.
Integrating the families- Start acting as a mediator where you will integrate the two families together. This can be done through planning a family trip which will help to break the gap between the two.
Build a pillar- Teach your childrens to build support with their elders.This could be ideally through financial aid, emotional or moral support. But asking for help will make things go smoother and better.
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